Top Tips From Daenerys Targaryen

15 September 2014 8:25 am Tags: , , , No Comments

The Dragon self-storage team are in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn, of House Targaryen. Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons. Please Khaleesi, grace us with your advice regarding storage. You travel far and wide, with an army of 8,000 your supporters, your horse, your three dragons and your general belongings. We beg you as your subjects, the city of Astapoor is overflowing with clutter, and we are in great need your tips and advice.

“It’s lovely to know that my advice is needed by my loyal subjects. Of course, my first tip would be to sell what you can to buy the most important things to conquer the seven kingdoms. This would include selling your Dragon for an army of unsullied (only for my Dragon to incinerate the owner to ashes). Moving swiftly back to the point, keep the bare necessities on hand rather than anything else. Remember that the basics are of the upmost importance.”

But Khaleesi, what bout your family air looms? The Targaryen treasures?

“In a faraway land, at least a two year journey, a kingdom named Arednor stands. A grand tomb holds my most prized possessions under a series of traps and mazes. I have ordered its location to be removed from all maps, so no living person can find this tomb… Apart from the individuals who prove themselves most worthy.”

We beg of you Khaleesi, provide us with a suitable location for storing our belongings. One with fantastic value, premium customer service, and one that is trustworthy.

“I store some of my belongings also in a land named Leigh-On-Sea. It is there that you will find the Dragon Enterprise and Self-Storage Centre, which will be your perfect solution for quality on a few pennies. Send a raven to them on 01702 511222, or alternatively if your raven doesn’t recognise this number, use 01376 388522 to contact the land of Witham, to receive a quote from their very own branch.”